Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Top 10 Things That Make Me Tell A Book To TALK TO THE HAND.

Back in April, I participated in The Broke and The Bookish's Top Ten Tuesday topic: Top 10 Words/Topics That Instantly Make You Buy/Pick Up A Book.  I had fun with that one, and today, they're doing the opposite:

Top Ten Words/Topics That Will Make You NOT Pick Up A Book

I felt it was only appropriate that I cover both sides of the coin.  So, without further ado...

1. Faeries, vampires, and werewolves, oh my.
I'm just not into the paranormal/fantasy thing.  I read the Twilight series because I felt it was my duty as a reader to do so, but I didn't get a lot of enjoyment out of it.  I haven't been motivated to try much else since then.  Is Harry Potter considered fantasy though?  Because I would totally make an exception for that.

2. A cheesy tagline.
Or any tagline, really.  Why does a book need a tagline?  Can you imagine if Jane Austen sat around coming up with taglines?  If you've already chosen a good title, let it speak for itself.  I feel like taglines are just the author saying, "Okay, the title might not have drawn you in, but wait wait wait!  Don't walk away yet noooooooo..."  I don't want to be sold that hard.
Wow. That's crazy. Tell me more.
3. "New adult".
I don't understand this new genre.  Honestly, it seems like they just didn't want to say "erotica for the older YA's".  Yes?  All I know is, my early 20's were not nearly as racy as these authors seem to think.

4. Part 2/3/4/etc of a series.
I am way too type-A to start a series midway through.  I have to start with Part 1, or I'm not starting at all!

5. Fiction written by a "celebrity".
I side-eye anything written (or that claims to be written) by a celebrity (other than biographies/memoirs).  Lauren Conrad writes books?  Whaaaaaaaaaa?

6. Short story collections.
This is one that generally turns me off, but I DO make exceptions.  I greatly prefer novels to short story collections, because I like to really steep myself in a book...short stories pull me out of the plot too quickly.  That said--I will read ANY short stories that Stephen King writes, and I will try other authors if I hear enough good hype about their work beforehand.  (Jhumpa Lahiri, I'm coming for you.)

7. Hey look, boobs!
Erotica is just not my thing.  Much like "new adult" novels, I find them a little ridiculous and hard to take seriously.  WHATEVER, I'M A PRUDE, I KNOW.

8. A message from...above.
Apparently I am a middle-of-the-road reader, because just as I'm not a fan of erotica, I'm also not a fan of the opposite end of the spectrum: Christian and LDS fiction.  I'm not an atheist or anything like that, but if I want religious inspiration, I prefer to get it from sources other than my fiction novels.

9. The title is too similar to another well-known novel.
It's not that I avoid books with similar titles--it's just that most times, I honestly don't realize that they are two different books, thus causing me to not read one of them.  Do you know how long it took me to realize that Daughter of Smoke and Bone, and Shadow and Bone, are NOT THE SAME?

10. Mass-published fan fiction.
Just no.
In my search for a cutting meme about 50 Shades, I found this instead, and it was way better.
Readers: what words/topics are total book turn-offs for you?

50 comments:

  1. Oh lord, mass published fan fiction. *cringes* 50SoG... Like the 'original' was that good to start with. Terrible.
    And yes to new adult. What even?

    My TTT
    My DESIGNS blog

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    1. Not to mention it just shows a total lack of originality! Argh.

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  2. The same thing happened to me with Shadow & Bone and Daughter of Smoke & Bone and I knew I wanted to read one but not the other so in the end I read neither until my friend read both and told me haha but agree- similar titles can be very confusing... Great list!

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    1. I always feel bad for the authors in these cases. Their books would probably get so much more publicity if they had stand-out titles.

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  3. Excellent list. I don't do "written by a celeb" unless it's Steve Martin. That foo' can write. And fairies are like, ridiculous. No fairies.

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    1. I haven't tried Steve Martin's books yet! I should get on that.

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  4. I must be middle of the road as well, because I'm with you on 7 and 8. I did read a Christian suspense series once, though that was a rare case of being drawn in by the rest of the plot summary.

    Also, I love the idea of what New Adult could be, but yeah... not really into the whole "YA with more sexytimes" thing.

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    1. I think I've been turned off by so many Christian novels that have a heavy religious message, I never got the chance to find one with an otherwise compelling plot. I'd be open to it though, if it wasn't too heavy handed.

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  5. YES to 8! The heartiest of yeses! I felt like a tool for putting Christian on my list of turnoffs, because I am, in fact, kind of religious (in a conscientious objector sort of way)... But like... If I want a good preaching I'll hit up church, not a fiction novel.

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    1. I am SO glad I wasn't the only one who listed this!! I felt like a jerk doing it, but I had to include it. Just not my mode of spirituality I guess.

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  6. Fabulous list! YA is usually hard enough to read without throwing in some sexy times and calling it "New Adult". Whatever the hell that is!

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    1. Haha I figured I would NOT be alone in that one. A lot of people seem confused by that genre in general, and those that have read it seem to think it's kind of flimsy anyway.

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  7. Omg, I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesnt get this New Adult nonsense. It definitely made my list as well. And I definitely agree with you about starting a series from book 1. I dont think I have ever started a series in the middle unless I didnt know it was the middle. I think I'm more put off by middle books that dont tell you they are middle books! The deception!

    Great list! :)
    Amanda @ i solemnly swear

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    1. I agree with that! I hate getting partway through and then realizing I missed a previous book in the series. Not cool. I also get review requests all the time for the second/third part of a series when I haven't read the first. Huh??

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  8. I've been wondering what was up with "New Adult" too, and so far nothing in it has looked remotely interesting to me!

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    1. Ditto!! I don't usually splice out entire genres without trying them first, but this one makes me very reluctant.

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  9. I haven't read an amazing New Adult read yet. I really don't get all the hype around it.

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    1. Me neither. Most of the reviews I've read for them have been very lukewarm.

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  10. Oh my--taglines!! These are novels, not movies! I'm so with you on the complete UN-necessity of taglines, Kelly!

    As for Christian novels, I could write a whole blog post (or two) on what makes a "Christian novel" Christian. Is it the theme, the author, the morality, the message, a combination? C. S. Lewis is, for me, the archetype of the Christian fiction author (or writer, period). Ted Dekker does a pretty good job (at least in the few books of his I've read) of writing stories with subtle Christian themes, from a Christian worldview, that are good stories and not preachy.

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    1. I think subtle themes aren't a bad thing (I loved A Wrinkle in Time and that certainly has them). I suppose my definition includes novels wherein religion takes a significant role, either in the dialogue or actions of the characters, from a preachy perspective. For example, Dan Brown's books don't qualify because the religion is not meant to convey a religious message--it's part of the plot action.

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  11. Great list...I have not heard about New Adult genre, I had better get out from under the rock. Thanks for the warning, I wouldn't be picking one of those books up.

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    1. No need to get out from under the rock for those...haha.

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  12. I would love to know which if any celebrities actually wrote the fiction books to which their names are attached. I generally assume that none of them wrote their books.

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    1. Ditto this completely. I read Beneath the Glitter by Elle and Blair Fowler, and I HIGHLY doubt they wrote any of that (not great) book.

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  13. Wonderful list! I put vampires and New Adult on my list as well, but you've got a whole host of other topics I can't stand either: taglines, celebrity authors, fan fiction, religion, and short stories.

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    1. Yes, I just saw your list today and soooo many similarities! I thought a lot of mine wouldn't be repeated on many other lists, but I see a lot of people with similar thoughts.

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  14. Yes to titles that are similar. Unless they are very very famous, in which case the second book is obviously trying to use the success of the first, it's confusing. For me it's anything that says it's good for fans of 50 Shades. I just about managed it with 'for fans of Twilight' because that wasn't always true, but with 50 you know it's very likely going to be.

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    1. I agree with that. I am always a little leery of any book marketed "for fans of X" (with X being a blockbuster bestseller) because sometimes it's true, and sometimes they're just thriving off the hype of the popularity without any true similarity at all.

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  15. I am with you on the New Adult thing!!! When I first heard about it, I was really excited. Late teens/early 20's age stories have such potential!! BUT NO! It's just sex.sex.sex. abs.abs.abs. BORING!! and TMI! I also hate Erotica and do not care for religiously themed books. I didn't think about cheesy taglines, but super bad ones would definitely turn me off!! Cool list!

    My TTT

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  16. I completely agree with NA. The one book I read in this genre made me feel like NA books should be a sub-category of erotica. I'm also not a huge fan of religious fiction. Great list.

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    1. I've heard that so much about NA and erotica. I was already not a fan of erotica when NA came out, so that definitely drives my dislike a bit.

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  17. Oh yes, the cheesy tagline is the WORSE. Can't authors come up with something fun and creative?
    By the way, I also like your blog header and layout. It's really cute! ;D<3

    My TTT

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  18. Great list! I agree with every single item. I do have a few books on my shelves with similar titles (including Daughter of Smoke and Bone, and
    Shadow and Bone) but I often wonder why publishers can't be more original when it comes to naming books. I also refuse to read any fiction written by a celebrity.

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    1. It does such a disservice to the authors when they do that! Those books would probably make so much more money if they had great standalone titles.

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  19. I so agree with your list! Especially celebrity "writers". Really, LC? You're a book writer now? Oh, okay then.

    It almost seems like a slap in the face to writers who had to work years to be published!

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    1. COMPLETELY agree. Just because you are a famous reality TV star does NOT a writer make. Oy.

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  20. Nice list. I stay clear of vampire, paranormal, and romance

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    1. And a combination of those three is like, an ultimate no for me. haha.

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  21. I agree with your list! Cheesy taglines are killer (though HOW would Pride and Prejudice be marketed if it were published now? "They hated each other... until something bad happened.")

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    1. I was trying to think about that! But I hate taglines so much, I couldn't even bring myself to come up with a witty one. Haha.

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  22. Forget Lauren Conrad - didn't Snooki "write a novel"?

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  23. Hahaha, that tagline is pretty awful! I don't mind taglines in general, but there are some pretty cheesy ones out there...

    I have no interest in erotica either. But I think I blame that on the current 'trend' in it - it's probably all the same sort of thing at the moment. A well written sex scene, yes, but just plain erotica, no thanks. I don't even like romance novels much, unless there's another genre thrown in there!

    And yes to the religion thing too. That's what I quite like about the Sookie Stackhouse novels: although Sookie is a Christian, and I believe so is the author, she only mentions it every so often, and only when it's appropriate for the situation. Any book that gets really preachy, I'm likely to put down.

    Great top ten! =D

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    1. I agree about erotica/romance novels. I think when passion/sex/etc are overdone, or are the central focus of a book, I lose interest VERY quickly!

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  24. I'm with you on point 1, anything other than Dracula makes me run screaming. And New Adult just makes me think FanFiction, I don't see the need for it either.

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    1. I'll agree with making an exception for real, creepy vampires. Salem's Lot, Dracula = YES.

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  25. I'm with you with all of them, especially No. 4 with only exception being foreign language series that don't get translated in order (Jo Nesbo's Harry Hole series comes to mind). I am making an exception too on short story collections with the Sherlock Holmes stories. Other than that, I think, "Meh."

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  26. Interesting, didn't realize that about the Harry Hole series. I've been wanting to read one of those for ages! But I guess if you can't tell they're out of order, it's not that big of a deal.

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